The Fourth Trimester

We all know about the three trimesters of pregnancy. The first is all about the nausea, the fatigue, the morning sickness, the "I swear I'm pregnant, not just getting fat" phase. Then comes the second with its cute baby bump and maternity clothes, the flutters in your tummy and feeling baby move around in there. Arguably the most fun part of pregnancy. Then finally there's the third trimester. The uncomfortable, can't sleep, can't wait to meet the little one part. The "ok, this-was-fun-and-all-but-get-this-thing-out-of-me" trimester.

You power through the three trimesters, birth your adorable cherub, and that's it, right?! Wrong.

Enter, the fourth trimester. 

This is a crazy, confusing, challenging, bittersweet, precious time. Baby is brand new in the world and adjusting to having his world turned upside down. Mom and Dad are adjusting to this new life of zero sleep, heart-bursting love, and learning how to keep baby happy and healthy (or at least alive and not screaming his head off).

Mom, more specifically, is still all sorts of jacked up physically from labor and delivery. An unmedicated vaginal birth, a "give me all the drugs!" experience, c-section warriors, whatever. It doesn't matter. Recovery is difficult and I feel like doctors don't prepare us enough for that. We're so focused on the pain and preparation of the delivery itself that no one mentions, "Oh by the way, you may be dealing with stitches in your hoo-ha, painful surgery scars, a displaced pelvis, hemorrhoids, raw, cracked nipples, and baby blues all while wearing ridiculous diaper-sized pads and trying to keep a tiny human alive." Uhhh thanks for the heads up!

In other words, "Holy shit! This is hard!" It's survival mode, baby!

Yes, it's not so glamorous, but there's also the good stuff. The teeny tiny fingers that grab onto yours. The middle of the night baby snuggles that make waking up at 3am to nurse a lot less annoying. The soft newborn skin. The new baby smell. The first time he smiles, even if it's just because he has gas and isn't intentionally smiling at you. The feeling of victory when you figure out the perfect combination that lulls your tiny tyrant to sleep (white noise + paci + swaddle + vibration, for the win!)

It's rough. It's exhausting. It's magical. It's fleeting.

It has been 17 weeks since I last wrote here on this blog, with the last post being the day before I went into labor. I can't believe it's already been nearly 4 months. I'm blown away by how much my life has changed in such a short time, how much I've changed, how much I've grown.

I hope to document this new life a little more consistently here, but I'm also giving myself grace when I don't make writing here my priority, or when I simply can't find the time to post. Recording the little moments is important to me. Living them is more important.

And so it begins...