Although we like to joke that our child is going to be the smartest, most creative, independent kid in the world or -- in other words-- perfect (don't all parents think their babies are perfect?), we aren't really so naive to think that our child will be without flaws or that it would be so easy to raise a perfect angel child. More importantly, that's not at all what we would want for our kiddo.
Instead, we have strong values and beliefs that are the foundation of our household, and the starting point for how we intend to raise our little one. We absolutely do not expect perfection, but rather we want our child to be the best little human that he can be.
We also do not intend to keep our child in a bubble and we know that life happens, we make mistakes as parents, and sometimes we go off track. We hope, however, that having this set of values as the core of our family life will help us to more easily get back to what's important and not let the negative aspects of this world around us outweigh the good.
So, without further ado! Here are our core values and how we intend to incorporate them into our daily life and the raising of our child:
Why it's important to us:
- We want our child to genuinely love learning
- We believe that people learn best through hands-on and engaging activities
- Encouraging children to explore things they're interested in on their own leads to more self-starter and motivated adults
How we'll execute it:
- Create an engaging, child-centered learning environment at home with focus on the Montessori style of learning and development
- Actively observe our child to recognize his strengths and interests and focus on developing those areas further.
- Family "field trips" like the library, museums, zoos, and learning centers
- Allowing uninterrupted, unguided "free time" during the day
Why it's important to us:
- Children are smarter and more capable than many adults give them credit for
- Instilling self-confidence through independent tasks is linked to more stable adults
- The sooner kids are able to do things on their own, the sooner they are able to pitch in around the house, contribute to the family as a whole, and not rely so heavily on parents. I'm not saying this as a way to shove our kids into early child labor. It's all about independence which means less stress on parents to feel obligated to do everything. Happier parents = happier household.
How we'll execute it:
- No "helicopter parenting"! Unless he's doing something overly dangerous or putting himself or others in harm's way, step back and let him do his thing.
- Creating child-level activity areas for things like cooking and self-care.
- Letting our child engage in an age-appropriate level of "dangerous" activities (climbing, jumping, using tools) that promote critical thinking skills and self-confidence
- Trying hard not to jump in and do things for him for the sake of convenience or rushing; instead, being patient and let him work through things himself
Why it's important to us:
- Encouraging a child to use his imagination strengthens his critical thinking skills
- Imagination sparks passion which leads to innovation. Innovative adults = productive adults
How we'll execute it:
- Passive toys create active minds! We intend to minimize toys with lots of bells and whistles, electronics, noises, etc. that involve the child simply sitting and observing. Instead, we gravitate towards simple toys like wooden blocks, stacking cups, and puzzles that require the child to actively work with the toys.
- Hands-on arts and crafts! This artsy momma is not afraid to get messy with paint, crayons, play dough, and paper, so bring it all on! In this area, I'm hoping to focus more on simply letting little mister experiment and play and not focus too much on doing it "right"/ being perfect.
- Verbal story time, acting things out, puppet shows, oh my!
Why it's important to us:
- Oh, where to begin?? Being active and eating right is vitally important for a healthy body and active mind.
- The focus is not on weight, dieting, or even "exercise". It's about being active and fit, energized and motivated, being kind to our bodies.
- A child's relationship with food often follows him throughout adulthood. Food is fuel, energy, health, and nourishment. It is not for covering up feelings, to be used as a reward for good behavior, or for curing boredom. This one is so ingrained that I anticipate it will be difficult not to pass that mentality of "You were a good boy so you get a cookie" without some conscious effort on our end.
How we'll execute it:
- Living a healthy lifestyle as a norm, not as the occasional exercise-binge. In other words, lots of family hikes, playtime like sports and bike rides at the park, being active outside as much as possible.
- Eating a diet filled with whole, unprocessed foods, fruits and veggies, no pop, and limited sugar.
- Watching how we talk about food and exercise around our kids. Venting out loud about feeling "fat" or "I can't eat that because I'm on a diet" is damaging.
- Encouraging our son to try a wide variety of foods and, once he's old enough, to eat what we're eating.
- Get him involved in the entire process of preparing a meal. We keep a family garden, so having him help with that, seeing exactly where some of his food comes from. Also, creating a small space for him in the kitchen to help prepare the meal itself.
Why it's important to us:
- Entitlement is an epidemic with kids these days. We want our child to be grateful for what he has, to know that things are earned in life, and to treat others with kindness and compassion. The world owes him nothing, as harsh as that sounds.
- Manners, manners, manners! This not only means saying "please" and "thank you", but taking turns, using respectful language, sharing, and being a "good loser". No one likes an obnoxious kid.
How we'll execute it:
- Modeling the use of manners and respectful language in everyday life. (Better clean up that potty mouth, hubs!)
- Not letting our child win every game just so his feelings don't get hurt. Sometimes you lose, and that's ok.
- Teaching him about respect for himself, his peers, elders, the law, our country/veterans/servicemen and women, the environment, people's personal space, etc. It all falls under this umbrella and it's all important to becoming a decent human being.
I'm thinking I'll probably print these categories out and hang them in our home somewhere, just as little reminder of how we intend to live our best lives and raise our child in a way that aligns with our core values. We plan to be dynamic in our methods, however, and go with the flow as our child grows and develops. Either way, we look forward to the adventure.
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